Expanding possibilities

Over recent generations, we have tended to set ourselves apart from the groups we are born into (tribe, community, extended family, nuclear family) and aimed to be more distinct as individuals. This has expanded possibilities for many of us but not without costs, such as isolation and stress. From an historical perspective, we may not live in hard times, but we do tend to be hardened, which, for some of us, is unsatisfying. It may also have effects on our world that make it unsustainable.

Since the individual is the smallest, non-divisible unit, the next step in our evolution needs to be radical. Such as losing our sense of separation from everyone and everything, and experiencing oneness - not just being interconnected but being part of the one ‘thing’ that exists, the only ‘game’ in the universe(s).

Fear of losing ourselves

This would address the downside of our culture and yet, many of us fear and, at some level, resist it. This resistance is costing some of us dearly. Some of us are clinging to or recreating our problems, and want others to see these problems because, if they do not, we do not feel seen. Others are staying in relationships, jobs and roles because we fear having or being no-one or nothing.

We might be part of God, of oneness, there might be universal love, but we also value our individuality, that which makes us distinct and separate from others and we do not want to get lost in the great oneness, we want to be seen and loved for ourselves.

Most of our teachings about oneness come from cultures which do not value individuality so highly. These teachings are filtered through their cultural perspective and the truth may be very different.

What we can lose

"The opposite of death is not life but birth. Only that which is born can die." Eckhart Tolle

We can only lose those things that we acquire or assume.

One meaning of the word ‘personality’ is an assumed role, manner or behaviour. This is related to the persona or mask assumed by actors and, as the bard said ‘All the world’s a stage and men and women merely players … And one man in his time plays many parts’. There is nothing wrong with playing our chosen roles, but, because we acquire them, we can also lose them. Indeed, this is often both natural and beneficial. Sometimes, however, a part of us clings onto roles we don’t even like because, at some level, we believe they are what we are and what makes us distinct and unique from everyone else. My (mostly unconscious) fear is that if I let this go, I will no longer be me (or I will be less ‘me’, less distinct from the crowd, than I was).

Our culture is obsessed with personalities, partly because we do not think we are interesting enough without them.

What we can’t lose

We cannot lose what we are and have always been. We have always been unique, a unique expression of oneness, of love.

When we are driven by our conditioning, we are mostly attracted to people and situations that match that in some way, perhaps partly to give us an opportunity to resolve and release conditioning. When our conditioning is clear, we are still attracted more to some people and situations than to others. This attraction now stems from our clear hearts - instead of seeking the perfect …., we seek the … that is perfect for us , the one that makes our hearts sing and helps us to give our deepest gifts.

Because we can lose our personalities, we often build them up or defend them in the hope of affecting how others see us. Our hearts are more concerned with sharing, expressing and creating.

"Everyone has a special covenant and purpose, and if you do not fulfill it there is no one else who will. This is the greater truth of wholeness. You might compare the universe to an immense puzzle which will not be complete until every piece is in place, and there are no substitute pieces." Glenda Green, from Love without end.

Unique and yet, not separate

The next step in our evolution then is to express ourselves more fully and authentically as individuals, but, and this is a BIG but, we all need to do this. Oneness enables us to do that, because, when we know that we are not separate or separable from the whole, AND that we are a unique expression of that whole and so cannot lose our uniqueness, we have nothing more to fear, hide or defend.

How?

How to be more fully myself and more fully connected with others is part of my continuing exploration. Here are a few notes from my journey so far :-

• see all beliefs or assumptions as provisional, exploring any that may be limiting me (hence, this post)
• pay more attention to my heart (and keeping it open and clear) and less to my head
• connect from my heart (to people, things, our world)
• notice and explore tendencies to hide, defend and separate myself (e.g. when I have an emotional charge about something)
• practise forgiveness
• notice and explore tendencies to see something in me which could be changeable as fixed ( e.g. I am shy, I can’t …)

What do you find useful?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 16th, 2008 at 10:07 am and is filed under connecting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.