Expanding possibilities

Towards the end of my husband’s life I noticed that I was broken inside. I was still functioning effectively, so it did not feel as though what was broken was my ego, and I do not think anyone else noticed.

After my husband’s death I determined to recover fully and do whatever I could to ensure nothing similar would ever happen to me again. In addition to processing my grief, I also cleared much of my conditioning and deep seated habits, found a wonderful home, lovely new friends and lots of ways to enjoy myself, and became increasingly happy. And yet, I still felt myself to be broken and none of the teachers, energy workers, change agents etc. I worked with seemed to notice until I met Dr Mark Dunn.

Karma

In a 1:1 session Dr Dunn immediately saw that my heart was smashed. I told him that I had noticed being broken and he joked that he would come over and fix whoever had done it to me. On further investigation of my energetic field, however, he expressed respect for my husband, Steve, who, he said, had carried an unusually heavy karmic load. In repeatedly trying to help my husband, my heart (which vibrates at a light frequency) had been broken by contact with this dense karma.

Dr Dunn explained that once karmic patterns form, they stay on this earth and someone has to carry them, whether or not the karma was caused by them. This appears to be in line with the earliest Buddhist teachings :-

"Karma, in the original Buddhist scriptures, is a blind machine; in fact, it is functionally identical with the scientific concept of natural law. Sentimental ethical ideas about justice being built into the machine, so that those who do evil in one life are punished for it in another life, were added later by theologians reasoning from their own moralistic prejudices. Buddha simply indicated that all the cruelties and injustices of the past are still active: their effects are always being felt." A Lesson in Karma, Robert Anton Wilson

Dr Dunn also said that I must be carrying a related karmic pattern and that the karma Steve carried and which is still affecting me is male and, therefore, dangerous to men. This may explain why, for the first time in my life, male friends and potential partners tend to back off very quickly.

Additionally, when I was first widowed and curious about how dating worked these days, I noticed that I often felt an odd attraction to men who had a certain ‘troubled’ quality, even when I knew almost nothing about them. This appears to have passed.

Dr Dunn has not, as yet, been able to complete his work on me which takes considerable concentration.

Since the world wars gave rise to huge karmic patterns, this aspect of Dr Dunn’s work may be much needed in Europe. Some people coming or returning to Europe from elsewhere have commented on how dense the energy is here. If we do not address this, the likelihood is it will get even denser. Additionally, what Dr Dunn told me resonates strongly for some of my close friends, both for me and for themselves, and Dr Dunn also helps people to connect with and from their hearts, which, to me, is what the world most needs and is part of fully embodying ‘the feminine’. I am, therefore, training with Dr Dunn.

I am also curious - does any of this ring true to you?

While the cat’s away, the mice will play

Like everything, the absence of men has been something of a blessing, allowing me to immerse myself more deeply in the feminine. My work with Roxanna is bearing fruit - my body is releasing some of its patterns of holding, allowing more life force energy to flow, I am feeling more delicious feminine energy and my body is beginning to express itself in ways that would previously have been censored by my gatekeeper mind.

Those who do not have access to Roxanna or her teacher Shantam Nityama, also known as the Tantric Mongoose’s work may be interested in the teaching of Sophia Diaz. I have not studied with Sophia directly, but, in the two workshops I have done based on David Deida’s work, Sophia’s work has been profoundly effective.

If you can recommend other resources for deepening in the heart and/or the feminine, please share them here.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at 12:21 pm and is filed under feminine. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.